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Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

I used to hate you.

Honestly, I did.

Not intentionally.

But I did.

I wanted to punish you because myself thought was not enough.

It was my paradigm.

Everyone around me was wounding their brains with negative talk.

It was my race.

I wanted to punish you because you were different.

You made me suffer.

And I was your only enemy.

Me, the one you are trying constantly to keep alive.

But then I read something.

I learned one thing that has changed my behavior forever.

I learned that the time when you will understand that I will not be able to survive anymore, you will comfort me.

You will make my physical pain sweeter.

You will make my mental fear easier.

And I will look brave.

And I will be.

You are trying constantly to keep me alive all my time here on Earth,

and you will make me feel relaxed the moment I will have to leave.

So…my beautiful brain…

I learned astonished that you are my only friend.

The one till the end.

Would I ever speak to another person the way I used to speak to you?

And if I did, how would this person react?

No, I have never talked to another mind this way.

Then why did I talk this way to you?

Because you are mine?

Because it’s me?

I used to fight for other people’s minds, but not you.

Why?

Because you are mine?

Thank you for trying to keep me alive, even though you do it with fears.

I will educate myself and train you to handle your overthinking.

Thank you for the future…

For this moment when you will help me face my end bravely.

It’s only you and me.

Thank you for giving me the flowers of the seeds I planted on you afterwards, even though I did so much harm to you in the past.

Thank you for always being strong against the bullshit you were told since you were little.

Thank you for being different.

The best apology is change.

And I need to tell you, my beautiful brain, you are badass and I admire you.

I can’t wait for our future.

Written by

I love writers, writers are good people. They speak in your mind with your voice. I will be writing every week until I become a voice in your beautiful head.

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