If you think life used to be easier and happier in the past societies, try to replace the world you know with your neighbourhood.
I love the internet. The Internet has transformed my life for the better in every aspect. Combining the internet with the real world makes you a superhuman, giving you this potential for the first time in human history. When I understood this, I said to myself: “Are you still crying? Are you kidding me?”
I had an empty relationship with an empty person and I lost some years of my life. That’s ok, I have said to myself that I used drugs and I recovered. I have always admired people who have recovered from drugs, so I decided to admire myself.
As a result of this empty relationship, I started feeling depressed and reached a low level in my life. Basically I am happy I got over all this genius emotional abuse that made me not even think that it was abuse.
But now I say to myself, if you want to die, you are being smartly abused, babe.
I had stayed alone because of this, I was isolated by all the people that loved me because of my secret. (All this was my fault)
After ending this steady and comfortable suicide ( I had lost my willingness for life down there), I decided to change myself completely. I had to start from zero (maybe lower, I don’t know)and face the destruction I had caused all around me. My body was sick, my financial situation was a disaster, my mind didn’t have the will to change anything (and that was the worst.). I was depressed, alone (because I don’t speak about my feelings) and of course, the first panic attacks started visiting me.
I started making a small list of things I had to do every day. It was a hard thing to do, I won’t lie, but I really had to survive, because of the people that loved me and I really believed that it was not what I wanted to give in my life. I am a very loving person, I have been given a lot of love and I said to myself, these people cannot be wrong, I deserve to be loved and live a respectful life. So this is the reason I kept on moving.
When I am talking about love, I am not talking only about a partner. I am talking about the tribe you belong to, the society you are a member of. What I mention below is what I did when I was broke, sick and depressed, so I think only dead people cannot follow this.
1.Build yourself: Honestly, your worth is what you build inside. You deserve nothing more than what you work for. If you don’t get what you want, organize your escape, before you build the circumstances to stay there forever. Wherever you are, you build something. Even when you do nothing and sleep all day, you still build. What you build will be served in your hands. You build your future even when you worry. Give time for yourself, even 30 minutes per day, believe me, this is your worth, after giving time to yourself, your company will be more expensive and you will attract only those who can “buy” it.
2.Try to deserve it: I am sorry to say that (I don’t feel guilty though), when you want something, please make sure you deserve it. I bet you have seen people around you crying with words every day, for the things they don’t have and life owes them something. Stop crying you make too much noise. You need to know something. Happy inside people hate fatalists. They don’t even want to hear about them. If you are a fatalist, you will find a fatalist at best. At worst, you will find a person that wants to take advantage of your attitude (probably again)and the circle goes on, life is short though, I don’t know if someone has ever mentioned that before. Please please please, be more cruel and honest with yourself, start from zero and work for your better self, so as better people arrive. There is no other way, believe me. I have always had friends much older than me and those who are full of life and love are those who worked with their thoughts and fears. Those who got rid of people in their lives and gave room for others. You need to be determined if you want to attract determined people.
In the “deserve it part” I mentioned only fatalists because those are the people that do something wrong, but they really deserve something good. The only thing that I hope for people that don’t deserve love, is that their people someday will wake up and decide to take their lives back.
3. Try to forget the past: When you meet love, behave like it was the first time you love. Each person is totally different, it is so bad to treat people like “Men like this”, “Women behave like this”, you become toxic and I find this behavior non-rational, I am sorry. Every person we meet is a different story and probably a totally different problem! It is another book to read. Or it should be if you don’t continuously look for a certain style of books ….eh sorry people.
4.Clean your mind from stereotypes: You are looking for love, not for magazine commercial. You are looking for love, not what your mother wants. Whether it is a friend or a partner, see the soul and please don’t feed mental viruses.
When you have done all the above, it comes the best part. Go where love is. I mean your tribe, I mean your people. Go to your community. And this is how we are the luckiest humans ever alive! We have the internet, we have trains, we have buses! I know these things cost, I am not Nicole Richie! When I did this I had 20 dollars in my pocket (without even wallet!) and some food in the fridge. I don’t say it is easy, in fact, finding your real people is one of the most difficult things in life.
Whatever you do, please consider one thing.
You need to refresh your five people once in a while.
5. Don’t be afraid to be a jerk. It is better to behave like a selfish jerk rather than feeling uncomfortable or lose your time. I don’t know how often you should refresh your tribe, but please don’t hang out with people that make you uncomfortable about anything. Love yourself, be love about everything around you, and believe me people will come, not because you are in their neighborhood, but because they need you in their lives and they deserve it.
I found my tribe on the internet and then I worked hard to move where they were.
I remember myself jogging in the rain so as to calm myself to go to sleep because of the stress I used to feel for the decision I had to make. Whatever you do, accept help, but don’t make yourself feel dependent from someone financially.
I am still working on my life and I think I will always be.
For the first time in my life, I am conscious about myself, I write things down every day and I try to be a better person, especially for my partner and my mother, because these two people are the only ones that believed in me when I believed I was a bag of rubbish.
Yes, money is important, yes the place we are born defines our beginning in life, BUT only the first years. In today's world, we are unlucky to have no excuses about things we can change and so deadly lucky to change our lives the way we really want.
Get your mind naked from the clothes other people had it dressed and choose the clothes in the style YOU want. If you change your mind, do it again, in a totally different way. Don’t buy the “zoo” attitude of big cities and rural areas. We are animals and this is the best era to be loved, honestly.
You can be loved for the unique treasure you are, not the person your neighborhood believes you are.