How To Ruin Your Life In Five Simple Steps

The ultimate guide to failure

Do you feel broken deep inside? Do you know horrible things about yourself that others don’t know and you think that you deserve to suffer? Are you at this point in your life that you enjoy your self-destruction?

It doesn’t matter that others made you believe that. It doesn't matter if those that made you believe that feel great. You are a horrible person for some reason you have made up for yourself, and you must pay. No one will notice it, and you don’t deserve it. But you must pay.

I am the most appropriate person to write an article for this, so, I made a shortlist of things that are all tested and they work. It took me 8 years to test them and 4 minutes to write them down. They work for losing your time, time that never comes back. 100% warranty, no money back. You will lose everything. In order to recover after all this successful failure, you will need too much effort to gain your pride again. And maintain it.

Let’s get started!

1. Underestimate your time. Don’t care about the quality of the people you hang out with. There is one and only truth. Our friends can kill us and build us. Who cares? Let them kill us! Who knows maybe, we get another life after the first trial.

About a year ago, I watched one of my favorite golden buzzers in America has got Talent. Take the time to watch this. Landau Murphy is a legend that had no idea of his talent. Why? Because no one had ever told him about it! Because he used to hang out with losers that wanted him to stay the same.

Misery loves company.

Misery hates being alone. So, if you want to ruin your life, accept others “as they are”, and keep them company so as they don’t feel alone. If you propose to change something in yourself they will either ask why, or say that you don’t need it, or they will not help you with your chores and stuff, so as you quit. The truth is, they are afraid that you will become better, and leave.

Be that person that is afraid to leave a toxic environment or an environment that doesn’t change. That’s a good thing to regret in the future!

2. Praise yourself for dealing with the negativity of others. Always praise yourself for being strong enough to deal with the negativity around you. Feel that others don’t understand you, feel unique. Think that you feel alone because the others are stupid. Don’t try to change the people that surround you, stay in this place, and feel that you are a hero.

This way you will lose all the time you need in order to regret in your near or long term future. You will never know what you lose because you insist on your mistakes and poor choices of people. If you never change your mindset this is going to be your life, and no one will ever pay attention on this. You will do things for others, and they will not even notice it. That is a great way to ruin your life!

3. Overthink the next steps. In fact, don’t think of your next tiny step. Think of the whole mountain you have to climb. This way you will feel even more terrified of moving on. The small first step can be accomplished, and if repeated, you can finally reach your goal. This will solve your current problem in the long term. So, don’t do this! Think of the whole thing and panic.

Do you want to move from the place you are now? Don’t write down one small thing you can do today to accomplish it. Think of how the next place will be. Think of all the dangerous things you may find there and all the obstacles you will have to change. Overthink. This is the best way to make it even more difficult.

4. Believe in luck. Dream of luck! Whoever you see succeed just see their result. Not their effort. Don’t try to find their patterns, don’t study the lives of scientists, authors, and people that made it. They were born talented. You have no talent and no luck. Dream that you win the lottery. Spend time dreaming of what you would do with this money. This way you will not only get anywhere, but you will also avoid your reality through dreaming! I know how it is, I wasted years of doing that, it feels great!

5. Never write down what you think. Writing down even two words can seriously damage our lack of productivity. If you write down even “wash dishes today” gives a big chance for you to do it. This will make you feel better afterwards and it can harm your sense of guilt and lack of willing to live.

If you think of a beautiful sentence and you write it down, you may feel proud of you for this thought. This beautiful sentence has the potential of becoming a really beautiful small paragraph, and if you repeat tomorrow and you like the feeling, it can become a whole book.

Writing down tiny tasks you need to do for your day can help you overcome this mountain you feel in your heart right now. If you get rid of this mountain, who will you be?

You can make your own list, you can find other ways to ruin your life. Having done that for 12 years, I tell you that all these struggles you will have to face every day in order to accomplish your goal to ruin your life, aren’t worth it. It takes a lot of effort to harm yourself, just like when you try to make it for the better.

I know it is hard to make the change for your benefit. I know it because I have failed, maybe more than you. I almost died from the list I wrote above. Maybe I know how you feel, my friend. And I know for sure that it isn’t worth it.

We want you healthy.

We want you happy.

And keep in mind, that for every person you beg for their love, another good person would die to enjoy this gorgeous love of yours.

Wherever you fail, fail fast. And try once more, like you did before. Give it one more time and trust me. After all your failures, your real life begins.

Life is an experiment. You are a scientist. Find all the ways that don’t work, and get your final result.

This is what I did.

  • This article is part of humor. Making fun of our fears helps us laughing with ourselves. I never knew how important is to laugh with ourselves, until this technique really healed me from my depression and self-destruction.

But seriously, if you follow these five steps, you will easily ruin your unique, beautiful and lovely life.

And it is a pity, because, we need you.



I love writers, writers are good people. They speak in your mind with your voice. I will be writing every week until I become a voice in your beautiful head.

Get the Medium app

A button that says 'Download on the App Store', and if clicked it will lead you to the iOS App store
A button that says 'Get it on, Google Play', and if clicked it will lead you to the Google Play store