My number one addiction is Facebook and I want to help myself

I don’t want to be the person with the phone anymore.

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Not to make me feel better, but I have reduced the hours per day I lose my life up there. Still I catch myself feeling nervous when I say to myself not to look on my phone or check notifications on my PC while working. I try to encourage myself and never forget where I started from, but the truth is, I feel guilty for not being the person that says no to this nonsense.

10 years ago, when I first registered on this boring demon I used to feel annoyed when someone would look on their phone while having a conversation with me. I was a happy person back then, I was only 20 years old. As the years passed, depression knocked on my door and stayed for long. I started staying home for many hours sleeping and staring on the wall. I used to stay alone, so this was my dirty secret. As a result I started being the worst employee you would ever hire. Of course that was a financial disaster for me too.

As the months went by, my dirty secret became stronger and made it really difficult for me to wake up early in the morning. I used to work in two jobs since I was 18 and study at the same time, now it was difficult for me even to wake up and have a proper breakfast. Guilt and exhaustion at the same time is soil and water for depression. Poor food is the sun that makes it grow even faster.

No mind, no strength, no willing to do anything happens in no time, my friend, after this recipe of failure. So the only thing I could do is sleep on my PC browsing around facebook and other loser stuff. As the months and even years went by, I started having an extra anxiety, seeing ex’s and other people posing “safe and sound” in beautiful places. I used to go to places too, I was smiling and meeting cool people, but my overthinking had stolen my positive thinking.

As the time went by, I fixed some “problems” (I would call them humans) in my everyday life, I changed my habits and routines and I overcame my depression without medicine. ( I don’t say it is proper for everyone, this is what worked for me) Now, I can manage my day, I compete my yesterday self everyday, I built a loving relationship with a giving person and I am heading for the best I can. I quit many bad habits to make my body lighter to be carried and make my life easier than it used to be. However, one bad habit , still exists. Facebook.

Addiction is a habit that causes anxiety when it cannot be fulfilled. And I hate to have this feeling for an application.

I read books everyday, I run and I have a positive thinking, but….I always check the notifications. And I have started to feel bad about it.

I never post anything about where I am, I never do stupid check ins or things like that. You will see no other information about my life there, except informative posts and interesting things that I want to share with people that love to learn beautiful things about space and nature.

I am addicted to notifications. I am addicted to reading and commenting on posts. I have stopped following people and started following Motivation and Writers’ Facebook pages so as to make it informative and positive brainwashing. But….it still remains an addiction.

Addiction is a habit that causes anxiety when it cannot be fulfilled. And I hate to have this feeling for an application. Am I exaggerating? Even now I am having the facebook window open and I am checking for notifications. I know I have made progress and I do it more rarely, but I am still doing it.

I would love to have ideas shared below, I would love to have a discussion. Is it possible for me to go back in the past and live like people back in the 60’s? Has anyone of you got the same thoughts? Has anyone of you overcome this addiction? Do you think it is important or not?

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I love writers, writers are good people. They speak in your mind with your voice. I will be writing every week until I become a voice in your beautiful head.

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