Now I know I was a bored writer in a white classroom

School is useful for us, only to get socialised.

The first years of shool I was an avid and good student, until I reached Secondary school. That totally killed me with depression and anxiety, I started sleeping long hours and keep on sleeping even in the classroom. Believing that was me, that’s how I used to live….until recently. Then I realised that I got scammed.

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I know I am writing this post to the wrong place. Obviously people in Medium are more conscious than facebook heroes and insta queens. However, each one of us needs a reminder in this small and sexy life and I am very proud today to be this kind of nerd to tell you what to do in your day and life! Yooohoo!!!

This year is my third “Living consciously year” and I am very happy about that. I was 28 years old when I started feeling fear about the life I was leading. Guilt, regret and fear started making unpleasant visits in my mind. It was then when I realized that I was living a life that wasn’t mine,I tried to please the others’ perspectives and I didn’t do it with huge success. I was making my family depressed because of the laziness that came as a result of my depression and this magic circle had no ending.

Until the first life changing gift, my body sent to me. My first panic attack. This feeling..I will never forget it. And I will never stop thanking this feeling for waking me up. That was when I realized that I had to start working with my mind, my knowledge and myself. This time I needed to be particular and focused. Right to the point! No matter what! No matter how long it will take me! Work everyday! Wow!Yo!

It was then the first time I took a paper and a pencil and started writing down thoughts. The first think I ever wrote was an encouragement letter to myself. There I wrote 5 things that I loved in me that time, 3 things I loved to myself when I was a child and 3 things I hated in me and I wanted to change. It was night. Then I went to sleep knowing that tomorrow I had work for myself to do. I will put the benefits of having a list in another post, today I want to talk to you about what happened to my long-suffering mind, the second month of my list.

The second month of my list, I put reading a book in a month. That meant for me back then, reading everyday. I went to the bookshop, got a book and went home. When I took it in my hands, I remembered how pleasing the smell of the pages were and how lovely the sound of the book was when you played with it. I read the cover and I was really excited about what was about to happen next. After I read 5 pages I wondered “ Why the hell I haven’t read a book for so many years and why the hell no one around me reads books!!!!” After a while I went back to the memories of school, I remembered that I was very happy as a student, I used to be the good kid and I used to read many books, I loved it but ……the last 2 years of school I got depressed because of the exams and all I wanted to do was finish school and never, ever get a book in my hands for a long time.

BOOM.

That was a Matrix moment for me.

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I guess school was not a huge success story in my life.

So I tried to get my life back.

Reading more books, especially the history ones, made me realize that not only school was boring, but also it had been eating my best years with government lies and obedience. Being Greek, what hurt me the most was the way the philosophy of these years was taught and how much religious was everything around. I then realized that I had to recover from school so as to finally get round, self education.

Books welcomed me to their world, at first I was excited and tired at the same time, because of my habit not to read books. I beat it down because of my commitment. When my brain told me “Come on let’s sleep for a while”… “Come on comment on that post”… I made myself remember the feeling I had after finishing my reading. This positive feeling when you learn something new, that magic feeling when you agree with something the author said, that feeling that today you made yourself better than yesterday. As time went by, I loved books that were written about how religion spread in the world and generally get around opinion about facts in the world. It was no longer than 6 months when I started competing my new self and getting forward.

When I formed a new opinion about the world, history, and societies, I started writing down things that I hated about myself. I started examining which one of these opinions were injected to me as mental viruses at school. I soon realized that the things I hated about myself were matters of our current society. When I spotted the facts, they lost the strength they used to have in my mind. I then burned the paper and lived happily ever after. (Almost basically, because this never happens just my pushing a red button).

Since I was a child, there was a phrase I used to listen and it really got on my nerves. “I didn’t expect this from him, he went to the University, he knows many things” What the hell has literacy to do with good education and kind behavior? Yes, at University you learn how to do research and all the good stuff. But most people I know (as least here in Greece,guys) stop theid self education as soon as they finish college. Stop considering those who went to college better than you and educate yourself. Whether you have studied to college or not, re-examine everything you have been told, ask always questions. Why has this happen, when did this happen? Why have I been taught this or that. I decided to always ask questions and look for facts about things and always be a learner and a beginner.

Since I was at school I loved Geography, but now I understand that school really kills this gorgeous lesson. It literally takes it’s body and throws it on the rocks, leaving it there alone to dance with the wild waves and kids questions, all dead. Teaching Geography in schools in my country means a totally bored ,usually old mathematician, would come in class and tell you how to separate the lines of mountain ranges on the map (I never used something like that in my life) and draw lakes on your notebook. Oh I forgot, of course the capitals of some countries! I loved Geography until they killed it. Now I know Geography and yes I love that!

You now know about me that I am a lazy person, so that was huge job for me to do, so I went to the entertainment part of my life. I realized that I got bored because I was almost always listening to the same kind of music. So I decided to start listening to different kinds of music, while I was doing the chores, driving, running or entertaining myself. Starting from 1930 till today, all kinds of music, pop,metal,hard rock , I tell you, almost everything! I have to admit that metal is sure for the win, it is my new favorite kind of music and it is the kind of music future generations will examine as piece of arts of our time. I now know which are my favorite composers and who gives me positive feelings and inspiration. I would never imagine that someday in my life my favorite composer would be Vivaldi or that me life song would be one of 1930!

One of the most educational things I have done so far was to watch the Cosmos, by Carl Sagan. It is a lovely mixture of science and poetry, all well written and with breathtaking narration. This lovely work gives you all the knowledge you need to understand where you are and love the creation and life. I will not tell you more, just add it to your playlist of documentaries, now.

All we need to do is to separate the ability to learn something by heart, or repeat what you have been taught, from critical thought and self education. All we need to do is to stay humble and be willing to be life learners.

The Hellenes (Ancient Greeks) said that you die the day that your mind stays static for the rest of your life. Movement means life. Whatever doesn’t change is an enemy for your mind. The only thing I know is that I know nothing.

I decided to stay humble, speak less, think and write more and I haven’t regretted it, so far. We need well educated peace soldiers who love critical thought, and repeat less.

I think school is useful for kids only for the need of socializing and interaction with peers. Even the technology is not welcome there!

I am talking about school in the 90’s, I understand that things have changed, especially in Europe and America. No matter how things have changed, school attitude and mentality is ruled by the governments.

What I said was personal opinion and I may change in the future.

Whatever you do, make sure it serves your soul, my friend. No matter how many times someone else has repeated another thing in your mind.

Written by

I love writers, writers are good people. They speak in your mind with your voice. I will be writing every week until I become a voice in your beautiful head.

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